Do you ever wonder if the way you use Lenormand or other cartomancy systems is healthy or you might be getting a bit too dependent on them?
Now as you’ll have guessed, I LOVE the Lenormand cards, use them often, and find them a useful, intuitive tool. But given that, how would I make sure I was using them in the healthiest ways? What signs, if any, should you look out for in your use of the cards which might be a bit of a red flag for, well, maybe an approach that’s not so healthy or empowering?
You NEVER Make ANY Decision or Take Action Without Consulting The Cards First
Feel scared of doing anything at all without checking with the cards as your first point of call? Feel totally paralysed? Scared of getting it “wrong”? Want the cards to tell you exactly what to do or exactly what will happen at all times?
It’s incredibly common (and I’ve done it myself – why do we like cartomancy, after all?) but is something of a sign that may be getting a bit too dependent on the cards, putting them in control rather than yourself, or more often, to avoid taking responsibility or action yourself. Sometimes this is simply due to a lack of confidence in your own abilities, perceptions and life-skills. Sometimes it happens when we are going through particularly difficult times, or life is getting out of control.
Try: Making decisions and problem-solving rationally in the normal way and thinking through your options. THEN use the cards as a tool for any additional insights they might bring or possibilities they bring to the fore. If you read for yourself, for example, you will often find that the cards reflect things you already know or perceive subconsciously. That is highly useful information you can use as a tool.
You Believe Your Entire Destiny Is Fixed & Immutable
Sure, many things in life do just happen by chance, odd coincidences happen, opportunities can and do come your way, sometimes in strange ways which hint that you’re being ‘led’ to something. But first of all, the thing with opportunities is that you have to make the effort to take them, and secondly, if you find yourself ONLY ever asking the cards for predictions, to tell your fortune, if this or that thing that you’re hoping for “will” happen or not, you’re showing again that you don’t really believe you’ve personally got a lot of control over whether it does or not. It’s “someone up there” who has planned it all for you, including your actions, and little old you just has to meekly sit there and wait until it’s handed to you or not – and no action necessary. If you are very fortune and prediction-focused (and many of us interested in cartomancy are) this could well be you.
The problem with this approach, though, is it can make you WAY too passive in your own life. If X is going to happen, you can just sit and wait for it, and don’t have to do anything right? Wrong! Do you want to have power and influence over your own future or don’t you?
Try: Focusing more on the here and now, on possibilities and depth-questions – the “How?” “Why?” “What?” ones – rather than solely on the future, predictions, the “Will?”. And if something comes up that suggests something you want will happen, think about what actions you can take yourself to ensure it does.
You Ask The Same Questions Over And Over To Get The Answer You Want
Another common issue, but really, it begs the question of why you are using the cards at all. You clearly already know what you want to hear, and you wont accept anything that isn’t that thing. If you think about it, card-reading then all seems a bit pointless; why not just cut out the middle man of the cards? You already know what you want!
You are not only trying to control a future that you think is already fixed, more importantly, your mind can also only accept that ONE possible version of that future can be true and nothing else is acceptable. What you really want here is some confirmation that what you think or believe or want to be true, is indeed true. Either to enable you to take some action or a decision… or sometimes, to avoid it, or to reassure yourself about something that is too painful or difficult to think about otherwise. To give yourself hope.
Try: When you find yourself feeling like this (and don’t worry, we all do from time to time, they are very human reasons) it might help to step back a bit and actively consider the problem at hand. Are you lacking confidence in yourself and your own abilities to resolve that problem without a ‘push’ from a higher power? What can you do to achieve your goals? Alternatively, how might you deal with it if the worst happened and that thing you wanted so badly DIDN’T happen? I always think “Hope for the best but prepare for the worst” is a good approach to have here: at least it gives you some backup if things don’t go the way you’d like.
You Get Angry or Upset If The Cards Don’t Show Exactly What You Want To Hear
Related to the above, it’s a very common reaction, especially, I think, in very emotionally-charged matters such as love. We all want to hear just what we’d like to. The problem is, in reality it’s usually better to hear what we need to, even if we don’t like it much. It gives us more to work with in practice and allows us to consider all the angles of a situation, even if uncomfortable.
Try: Your emotional reaction to a reading can often be a BIG clue to something that needs to be explored in more depth. Are you putting all your eggs in one basket, for instance? What can you do to mitigate the risk? How would you deal with this situation if everything wasn’t perfect? What would it mean in that case? Would your love still endure? Would your business still be viable? Might it be worth finding other ways to make money as back-up? Considering those kinds of things are a more useful approach than just getting mad or upset.
You Feel Frenzied or Desperate When Asking The Cards Questions
Do you mostly read the cards with a cool head, or do you rush to them as the first port of call whenever you’ve got a problem and you’re feeling highly emotional? It’s not uncommon to use cartomancy to get insights for a problem that seems difficult or insoluble, so it’s not unnatural to feel emotional, but there’s a difference between that and clinging to the cards as if they are a lifeboat for answers. That’s when they become more of an emotional crutch and you’re heading into dependency territory.
In any case, if you only read when highly emotional, you won’t get clear answers anyway and you wont be willing to hear things you don’t want to. So how is that going to help?
Try: Taking a step back. Try to resolve the problem first without the help of the cards, say, by imagining that you’re giving advice to a friend. Make it a rule to only read the cards with a cool head. Consider also if the problem concerned is such that it really requires professional help: a lawyer, a doctor, a good therapist
You Get A Kind of “Hit” or “Rush” When You Get a Reading
Ah, the dopamine, the pleasure rush, or maybe just a sense of relief… until the next time. This is when we’re kind of getting more into addiction territory, and I think people who suffer from this will know deep down if this is the case for them. Again, it tends to have a sort of frenzied element, and is usually more about people who get professional readings than those who read for themselves. Frequency is a clue, but also the feelings and behaviours involved. It’s related, I think, to the first point about not being able to make any decisions at all without leaning on the cards, but takes it one step further.
Try: If you know you are getting addicted and are experiencing this kind of reaction, step back. Are you going through a particularly difficult time in your life? It might be that actually, you could benefit from more targeted help perhaps from a counsellor or good therapist.
You Visit Readers or Psychics ALL The Time For Answers
As a guide, I would normally only expect to read for a given client once every two or three months at a maximum. I mean, sure, if you’re comparing different people’s styles to find an approach that suits you, that’s one thing, but if you can’t go more than a week or so without getting a reading, or you’re frenziedly going from reader to reader until someone gives you the answers you want, or you’re relying on a reader to be your personal spiritual guru and won’t do a thing without their input, there might be an issue. I’m sure there are readers out there who do get off on having a “guru” status, and wielding that power over people, but I’m not one of them and I don’t know many ethical readers who’d feel comfortable in that position either.
Try: Doing your own readings, or make it a rule that you’ll only get a professional reading as a treat and no more than once every six months or so.
You Spend Lots Of Money On Readings, Even When You Can’t Afford It
See, it’s the never-ending quest! Related to a lot of the above points, this tends to be a sign of dependency. If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it. Watch out, especially, for people who do more and more to part you from your money. I’m not someone who believes that readers should work for free, but there’s a huge difference between paying another person fairly for their time, efforts and help, and feeling that you’re being sucked back in time and time again or can’t do anything without them. Watch out especially for the scammy types; you know, the readers who foresee a disaster or ‘bad energy’ that, hey presto, you can only resolve if you pay them more to remove it for you. As I say, most ethical readers aren’t comfortable with encouraging this kind of dependency. In these dodgy cases, it’s always more about them and their wants than it is about you.
Try: Again, doing your own readings, building your instincts and learning to read the cards yourself. For example, you can learn a ton of stuff for FREE on blogs like this one! Target your spending only to the things you think you really need and will genuinely help you in the long run.
So in conclusion, for me, the two big takeaways with regard to healthy use of Lenormand or other cartomancy systems is at core, to make sure you’re asking yourself these two key questions:
- Am I using Lenormand as a tool— or as a crutch?
- Am I taking full responsibility for my own life?
Check out my new quiz on this very question!
Need More Guidance?
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