To follow on from my post about the Future, Fate and Free Will, I wanted to talk a little more about specific ways you might ensure your experiences with Lenormand and other systems exercise as much of your free will as possible.
As many Lenormand layouts work best with specific questions (and see my post here on How To Ask Lenormand Questions for getting the Best Results) in particular contexts, here’s a handy tip list for making sure you are asking the Lenormand questions that are as empowering as possible, rather than leaving all things in your life to Fate.
1. Don’t ask Yes/No questions
Essentially, the more “closed” answers are, the less power you have in them. Yes/no questions are mostly fatalistic, and usually, in the context of Lenormand and other cartomancy systems, start with the word “Will…?” Will this thing happen, yes or no?
Yes/No questions disempower you, because they assume that the future is fixed and there’s nothing at all you can either do about it or to create new pathways into the future for yourself.
Will I meet someone in the next six months?
What can I do towards helping me meet someone new in the next few months?
2. Avoid “When?” questions
Asking for exact timing and timeframes is another way of keeping things closed and limited and not allowing for possibilities to unfold – including any pathways you might create yourself. As I’ve mentioned before, I rarely give specific timings in my readings, although do quite often limit their range to specific timeframes instead.
But again, asking specific “When will this happen?” questions implies that all events in life have already been predetermined by some outside force, along a very fixed timeline from which we cannot deviate. But the reality is that the future is most often created by actions we take in the present, along with the past influences and experiences we bring along with us, as well as the usual one or two random events that we couldn’t possibly hope to control. There could be many possible future pathways, many possible future alternatives we can create. Sitting around waiting for things to drop into your lap, or worse, avoiding taking action because it doesn’t fit into a designated, limited timeframe disempowers you and makes you a passive recipient in your own life.
When will I get a new job?
What are the steps I might take now towards getting a new job as soon as possible?
3. Ask more What/How/Why Questions
The most empowering Lenormand questions are usually exploratory and involve diving deep for information, having to think about things. The best way of doing that is to start your question with either What, How, or Why to gain more in-depth information.
Is this relationship worth pursuing? (a yes/no question)
What factors should I think about with regard to this relationship?
How might I improve how this relationship develops?
4. It’s Your Life: Take Responsibility and Ownership for it
We all have things in life that we cannot control. Other people’s desires, beliefs and actions. Random events. Late trains, car breakdowns, power cuts, bad weather, a crazy event on the news.
However, just as many things that happen in our lives as individuals are within our control. Weighing up big decisions with pros and cons, choosing to go with our gut feelings about something (or someone!), assessing whether or not something makes us feel good or bad and why and what we might do about it. Knowing and understanding ourselves and our reasons for doing things is a choice, knowing whether a situation is a good or bad one for us. Whether to try something ‘just in case’ or whether to not bother because ‘there’s probably no point anyway and I’ll never succeed’ is a choice you make that has direct impacts on what may or may not happen to you in future.
And sometimes life IS difficult. Nobody said it was going to be 100% easy at all times. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do or where we might take the next step. Sometimes you do have to sit down and work through things, and sometimes it isn’t instantaneous. But if you hand over all the responsibility for your life to Fate (or the cards or, worse, attempt to make it that of a card reader, say, or astrologer) that really isn’t a healthy level of empowerment
Handing responsibility for your life choices and your life events over to Fate, another person, a card reader/an astrologer to direct you and wait for things to ‘just happen’
Using the cards in a more exploratory way. Gathering information about the world and influences around you, creating choices, thinking about possibilities, examining how the cards in a reading made you feel, taking action, believing the future is something you actively create. Take the reins!
5. Think About What’s At The Root of Your Question & Why You Want To Know
When you ask a question of the cards, consider both why it is you are asking and what, deep down, you really want to know and what you want to achieve.
For example, an initial question about whether or not you should resign from your job is likely to have at its root a dissatisfaction with your current career and or life path. Are you feeling stuck in a rut? Why? What might you be able to do about it? Do you half feel like just handing in your notice tomorrow and telling your boss where to stick it, but that feels a bit dramatic? Are you deep down looking for ways to unstick yourself but that don’t involve you doing something silly and making yourself homeless because you can’t pay your rent?
The trick is to try and be as honest as possible with yourself about why you are asking what you are asking and why you have framed it in the way you have
Asking the cards whether you should do the big scary dramatic thing or not (yes/no) and handing over the power to Fate to make the decision for you
Using the cards to help YOU get to the root of the problem. The cards, I find, often reflect what is going on with me, not the uncontrollable world outside me (as within, so without). What factors and influences might you want to consider in helping find a solution to the problem?
6. Think What You Might Do With Various Answers
This relates to the previous point, and is another way of examining the root of the issue in front of you. I mean, what if you did ask a yes/no question and you got the answer you secretly wanted. Now what? What if the cards were to give you the opposite answer? What would you do then?
Waiting for the cards to give you all the answers
Thinking before you ask about “what if?” What actions would I take if my reading said this thing? What actions might I take if it said the opposite? “What if it tells me what I do want to hear? What if it tells me what I don’t want to hear? What then?” How can you frame the question in a way that whatever answer the card gives, it empowers you and inspires you to action in some way?
7. Focus on Yourself & Your Life & Things YOU can do right now
The more you focus on other people (ie stuff you can’t and shouldn’t want to control) and the idea of a fixed, fated future ( another thing you can’t control) the less empowered you will be. Would you like somebody else trying to pull your strings? Nobody else but you is responsible for your life, and it’s in your life that you can take the most action AND see the most results.
Using the cards to nose about others & things that aren’t really your business & have little impact on your own life and things that are outside your control
Framing all your questions so they focus only on your own life and potential actions. “What might I need to consider about my relationship with X” is far more empowering (&way less sneaky) than “Tell me who X is thinking about right now?”
8. Make Questions Precise
I’ve said it before, but ask a woolly question and you get a woolly answer.
What’s coming up this week?
What areas of my life might I want to take action on this week?
9. Don’t Ask the Cards to Make Big Decisions For You
Again, are you putting your future in the hands of the cards (or a card reader)? Are you handing them the power to make YOUR life decisions for you?
Putting your fate in the hands of the cards: “Should I do this or this? Just tell me what to do! I want to know – NOW!”
Using the information the cards give you about current influences to consider for yourself their impact on your life, your preferences and how you feel THEN weigh that information up along with all the other information around you before making decisions. Sometimes decisions aren’t easy to make. Often, that’s for very good reason, and that is normal and fine. And again, you should not be placing responsibility for your life decisions in the hands of other people because it seems easier just to hand it over. It isn’t fair on them, and makes you a passive recipient in your own life.
10. Allow Yourself Time to Process What Has Come Up
Sometimes, the cards will tell you something unexpected or, more often, stuff you don’t want to hear. “No, no,” you might think, “That can’t be right.” Often because you don’t want it to be. Let it brew for a bit.
Desperately reading and rereading the cards until you get the answers you want
Giving it a bit of time and considering what came up for you and why it has had an effect on you. Have you looked at the real root of what you were asking? Are there deeper themes or issues coming up in the situation that are worth exploring?
Want More Guidance?
Go to my Lenormand Tips page for tips about common issues and problems.
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